MTC we have a delivery

I am finding it incredibly difficult finding adequate words to describe dropping David off at the MTC.  I have delayed this post because I keep wondering if I might be casting pearls a little here, but in an effort to keep a record for David I will forgo my reservations. For those of you who have followed this blog so far, you can clearly see that this mamma has had a lot of raw and real emotions, and when delivering David to the MTC, I stayed in true Holley form.  It's just the weirdest thing in the world to realize that the day had finally come that I would be dropping David off and I would literally not see him for 2 whole years. 2 WHOLE YEARS?  I felt like I was in the twilight zone, like it wasn't real.  

The drive from Star Valley to Provo was mostly quiet, we weren't our normal selves.  The closer we got to our destination, the more we realized that we were going to drop David off and not go back.  I was feeling pretty under control UNTIL we rounded the canyon and the open Salt Lake Valley was before our eyes.  That's when the tears started.  I began quietly sobbing as everyone was taking in the new scenery.  Several minutes later, David reached his hand forward and grabbed my hand to comfort me.  He is such a tender hearted guy, and I am super blessed to have him as a son.  As we were continuing on our path down the road, I heard Enoch say, as we passed a big building that was under construction, "I wonder what that building is going to be?"  I said, "Enoch! How are you able to think about anything but sending David off today?"  We started laughing, Enoch was having such a different experience than me.  He's been a missionary, to him it wasn't traumatic to drop his son off.  He was completely fine.  Side note....we are a great ying yang couple.  What Enoch lacks in excitement and adventure, I make up for it.  And what I lack in peace and calm, he makes up for it.  I was grateful for his peaceful demeanor and he was happy to see me expressing my love for our son. Let's fast forward to when we drove onto the MTC property.  I don't know, I just felt like I was being tortured and I honestly wished (but glad I didn't) stayed home!  There was so much going on in and around the campus, it was just bustling with missionaries.  Each missionary I saw brought to my mind the hard work that it took for David to get here.  The two jobs he worked last summer and how he gave up band his senior year of high school to work those two jobs.  He gave up all the comforts of home, his friends, family and pretty much all he's ever known for the last 18 years.  He's given up all of his personal interests, like astronomy (he loves space...obsessed is a better word), music and dating.  To say that it's a sacrifice to be a missionary is an incredible understatement.  

As we followed the line of cars entering the parking garage of the MTC, David commented on how he felt like he was on a roller coaster.  He was experiencing some nerves.  As we wove our way through the parking garage, we could see other missionaries saying their last goodbyes and I personally didn't want our car to stop.  I saw dads hugging their sons and walking away wiping tears from the their eyes.  I saw moms fixing their elders tie and kissing them on the cheek.  Brothers hugging brothers, sisters hugging sisters....this is what we were about to do.  As the line of cars began to stop, the dreaded host missionary came walking up to our car.  Enoch stopped the car and we all got out, knowing that this goodbye would be quick.  Looking back on the video, I can tell we were all experiencing something different.  Enoch was so excited for his son.  I was trying not to double over and sob. David was super nervous but ready to go.  Elizabeth was wondering if she wanted to be the next go in two years. Joseph was feeling like he was losing his brother. We literally took a few pictures and a few videos and he was gone. His host missionary whisked him away and we just got in the car and drove.  Joseph and I cried for the next five hours.  We would go to sleep and wake up and cry.  Go to sleep and wake up and cry.  Elizabeth just went to sleep.  Enoch was left alone in his thoughts.  I felt like my heart broke and I didn't get any relief from that feeling until Friday when David emailed me and I found out it was his pday.  Oh my gosh, I was so happy Friday was his pday.  I'm not sure how much longer I could've lasted before I called the MTC and said, "Um I'm probably the only mom to ever do this, but it's too hard for my son to be gone, so I want him to come home." 

 I feel like I slaughtered this, but it's a members only club.  If you've done it, you'll know.  Thanks again to Heather for watching Lucy while we dropped David off.