When I got off the phone with Elder Johnson this morning, I knew that the conversation we had needed to be recorded. In his new area the internet is terrible and sometimes all I can hear is car horns honking, roosters crowing and people chatting in the background. I end up hearing only about half of what David actually says and the rest is like a puzzle I have to put together. Plus on top of that, sometimes David's voice turns robotic and delays so badly that his words are unintelligible. This morning started out a lot like that, in fact we lost our connection entirely and I thought we were doomed to not even get to speak today because it was so bad. Then he asked me to call one more time and we connected. The connection was awesome this time, so we quickly dispensed with the pleasantries and got right into the meat of our conversation.
David told me that he has a hard time with all the poverty in Mada. Furthermore it's against the rules for the missionaries to give money to anyone, especially the beggars on the street, who are primarily little children, because there are parents who dress their children in rags and send them out begging for money, all the while the parents sit and watch who gives their kids money. Whoever gives their children money, will then be targeted to be mugged at a different location. So as you can see, it's actually dangerous to give money to these children in Mada. However, that doesn't mean David doesn't want to give nor does it mean he doesn't feel sad about not being able to give money either. In fact it's one of the hardest things about his mission.
He told me a story this morning about a girl on a bus that he met. She was sweet and they had a nice conversation on their trip but he could tell she was incredibly poor. However she didn't ask for anything and they eventually parted ways at a bus stop. A week later he saw her somewhere else (I can't remember where) and she was desperately looking for someone who could read the instructions on the back of her medicine bottle. David and his companion tried to read the label, but they couldn't understand it and sadly enough they couldn't offer her anymore help. Later she showed up at the church and continued asking for more help, she was again desperately looking for someone who could help her with her sick brother. He was evidently suffering from severe diarrhea. David related how torn up he was that he couldn't do more for her and he shed some tears over that. He said it was still haunting him. We began talking about prayer and how sometimes we rack our brains trying to figure out how we can help someone, and in David's case, he was left only wishing he could do something for this woman. We talked about when we are left with a sense of helplessness, like there is nothing we can do, why is that we don't reach a hand out to our friends, our neighbors, our family, complete strangers and say, "May I pray with you?" This isn't the "least" we can do for someone, it's the best we can do. If pray turns out to be the only thing we can do for someone, than we can invite heaven to reach down and bless those we are powerless to help ourselves. What a power missionary tool! I invited David to try praying with the beggar (he of course is making invitations to church and such) We talked about how sometimes we feel too ashamed to pray because people are watching, but we concluded that we should always be praying, especially when we don't know what to do.
David then related to me that he had a quote written in every single page of his planner that helps him. It says, "keep your knees bent and your heart soft." He said, "Mom do you know who said that?" I said, "No." I was honestly absolutely clueless. I listened closely because I wanted to know which general authority had said it. He replied, "Mom you did, and it was a stripling warrior mom quote." He told me that I had sent him a letter in the MTC with that saying in it. It all came flooding back to me as I remembered sitting at my desk 9 months ago trying to think of something of value to write to David and those words came to my mind, clearly they weren't mine. And oh how I need to take my own (The Lord's) advice. David continued to tell me how those words rocked him to the core, so much so that he writes it on every page in his planner. At this point in our conversation I had cried off all my mascara and I felt like I had just had an incredible spiritual experience with my son. I was taught by a wonderful missionary this morning about the power of prayer and I was so grateful for this timely message in my life.
What I learned from this conversation personally is sometimes when I pray, I think the connection is broken with my Father in Heaven. Sometimes the connection sounds robotic and broken and sometimes all I can hear is roosters and chatter in the background. It gets frustrating sometimes to kneel down and pray just to feel like that, but after today I realized that pray is work, it takes PATIENCE (the p word!) practice and persistence (ahhh more p words!) to get the right connection. Sometimes I believe it's God that is busy, unconcerned and distant and that's why the connection seems bad, but after talking with David today, I know what the real problem is! Did I soften my heart before I knelt down? Am I mold-able, malleable, teachable and humble? Those characteristics are what makes a great connection.
I can't begin to tell you all the lessons I have learned from having a son on a mission, but probably the most profound lesson I have learned is that their is real power in prayer, it's a healing, lifting, encouraging, comforting, aligning, spiritual eye opening, planning, pondering, asking, seeking, teaching daddy daughter conversation. The connection can never be brought down or shut down, it's free to anyone who will keep their knees bent and soften their heart.
